This is easy.
- Hire somebody who uses InDesign (because it’s really big and expensive and therefore the best tool available). Make sure the editor in charge is totally dazzled by all the drop caps and floating text and other touches that look fabulous on iPads, but totally fall apart on eink readers. Render all user preference controls utterly useless, especially line spacing. Who needs line spacing anyway. Extra points if the ebook is littered with unreadable characters and question marks.
- Do not proofread the ebook. Don’t let anyone check that the chapters are in the right order. It doesn’t matter if a few chapters are missing altogether. Extra points if the ebook displays all your discretionary hyphens.
- Include no less than 10 screens worth of front matter (not including the Table of Contents) and make that copyright notice as hostile as possible.
- Author bios are optional, but three or four pages about the PUBLISHER are mandatory. And that damn well better be proofread and perfect or heads will roll!
- Don’t forget DRM.
- Slap on a $14.99 price tag.
Voila! Now nobody can tell the difference between your self-published ebook and one from Harper-Collins.